icuSources/samples/ufortune/resources/root.txt

   1 //   Copyright (C) 2001-2003, International Business Machines
   2 //   Corporation and others.  All Rights Reserved.
   3 //
   4 //  root.txt
   5 //
   6 //     root resource file for ufortune.
   7 //     This data will be used as a fall-back if no other resource bundle
   8 //     matches the requested locale.
   9 //
  10
  11 //   ufortune has three resources
  12 //     usage         - the usage string to display if there's a command line error
  13 //                     or in response to -? or --help.
  14 //     optionMessage - the error text to display in response to an unrecognized
  15 //                     option on the command line.
  16 //     fortunes      - An array of strings, the fortune messages.
  17 //
  18
  19 root {
  20
  21    usage           {"usage: ufortune [-v]  [-l locale]"}
  22    optionMessage   {"unrecognized command line option:"}
  23
  24
  25 //
  26 //  These fortune messages are from BSD fortune data files.
  27
  28    fortunes {
  29
  30
  31 "186,282 miles per second:
  32
  33 It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!",
  34
  35 "2180, U.S. History question:
  36         What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what
  37 office did he later hold?",
  38
  39 "$3,000,000",
  40
  41 "355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible
  42 simulation!\"",
  43
  44 "3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie
  45 process.  In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such
  46 traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find
  47 ourselves in.
  48                 -- Jordan K. Hubbard",
  49
  50 "43rd Law of Computing:
  51         Anything that can go wr
  52 fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped",
  53
  54 "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)
  55         The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National
  56         Redwood Forest.",
  57
  58 "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)
  59         The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the
  60         Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.",
  61
  62 "99 blocks of crud on the disk,
  63 99 blocks of crud!
  64 You patch a bug, and dump it again:
  65 100 blocks of crud on the disk!
  66
  67 100 blocks of crud on the disk,
  68 100 blocks of crud!
  69 You patch a bug, and dump it again:
  70 101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...",
  71
  72 "A \"No\" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a
  73 \"Yes\" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
  74                 -- Mahatma Ghandi",
  75
  76 "A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
  77 Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific
  78 game.  The player should estimate the distance the ball would have
  79 traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there,
  80 preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass.
  81                 -- Donald A. Metz",
  82
  83 "A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and
  84 placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or
  85 rolled into the rough.  Such veering right or left frequently results
  86 from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball
  87 and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the
  88 ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical
  89 phenomena.
  90                 -- Donald A. Metz",
  91
  92 "A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no
  93 responsibility at the other.",
  94
  95 "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
  96                 -- Carl Sandburg",
  97
  98 "A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out
  99 of a divorce.
 100                 -- Don Quinn",
 101
 102 "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
 103 and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
 104                 -- Mark Twain",
 105
 106 "A billion here, a couple of billion there -- first thing you know it
 107 adds up to be real money.
 108                 -- Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen",
 109
 110 "A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.",
 111
 112 "A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.",
 113
 114 "A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.",
 115
 116 "... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you
 117 have turned into a pile of dust.",
 118
 119 "A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have
 120 enlightened him with ours.",
 121
 122 "A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well
 123 as afterward.",
 124
 125 "A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the
 126 poor to protect them from each other.",
 127
 128 "A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.",
 129
 130 "A child can go only so far in life without potty training.  It is not
 131 mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty
 132 trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.
 133                 -- Dave Barry",
 134
 135 "A child of five could understand this!  Fetch me a child of five.",
 136
 137 "A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon.
 138 Avoid him.  He's a Commie.",
 139
 140 "A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
 141 won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
 142                 -- Bill Vaughan",
 143
 144 "A city is a large community where people are lonesome together
 145                 -- Herbert Prochnow",
 146
 147 "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
 148 wants to read.
 149                 -- Mark Twain",
 150
 151 "A closed mouth gathers no foot.",
 152
 153 "A computer, to print out a fact,
 154 Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
 155         But this output can be
 156         No more than debris,
 157 If the input was short of exact.
 158                 -- Gigo",
 159
 160 "A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.",
 161
 162 "A CONS is an object which cares.
 163                 -- Bernie Greenberg.",
 164
 165 "A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it
 166 is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.",
 167
 168 "A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
 169                 -- Dyer",
 170
 171 "A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the
 172 damned things is ample.
 173                 -- Rebecca West",
 174
 175 "A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
 176                 -- Ben Franklin",
 177
 178 "A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
 179 And had an affair with a Saracen.
 180         She was not oversexed,
 181         Or jealous or vexed,
 182 She just wanted to make a comparison.",
 183
 184 "A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen
 185 lantern.
 186                 -- Edgar A. Shoaff",
 187
 188 "A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?",
 189
 190 "A day without sunshine is like night.",
 191
 192 "A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur
 193 coat.",
 194
 195 "A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
 196 you will look forward to the trip.",
 197
 198 "        A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was
 199 eating his morning meal.  \"I would like to give you this personality
 200 test\", said the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\"
 201         Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into
 202 the toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".",
 203
 204 "A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...",
 205
 206 "        A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing
 207 about whose profession was the oldest.  In the course of their
 208 arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon
 209 the doctor said, \"The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because
 210 Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply
 211 incredible surgical feat.\"  "
 212   }
 213 }