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1 | // Copyright (C) 2016 and later: Unicode, Inc. and others. | |
2 | // License & terms of use: http://www.unicode.org/copyright.html#License | |
3 | // | |
4 | // Copyright (C) 2001-2003, International Business Machines | |
5 | // Corporation and others. All Rights Reserved. | |
6 | // | |
7 | // root.txt | |
8 | // | |
9 | // root resource file for ufortune. | |
10 | // This data will be used as a fall-back if no other resource bundle | |
11 | // matches the requested locale. | |
12 | // | |
13 | ||
14 | // ufortune has three resources | |
15 | // usage - the usage string to display if there's a command line error | |
16 | // or in response to -? or --help. | |
17 | // optionMessage - the error text to display in response to an unrecognized | |
18 | // option on the command line. | |
19 | // fortunes - An array of strings, the fortune messages. | |
20 | // | |
21 | ||
22 | root { | |
23 | ||
24 | usage {"usage: ufortune [-v] [-l locale]"} | |
25 | optionMessage {"unrecognized command line option:"} | |
26 | ||
27 | ||
28 | // | |
29 | // These fortune messages are from BSD fortune data files. | |
30 | ||
31 | fortunes { | |
32 | ||
33 | ||
34 | "186,282 miles per second: | |
35 | ||
36 | It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!", | |
37 | ||
38 | "2180, U.S. History question: | |
39 | What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what | |
40 | office did he later hold?", | |
41 | ||
42 | "$3,000,000", | |
43 | ||
44 | "355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible | |
45 | simulation!\"", | |
46 | ||
47 | "3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie | |
48 | process. In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such | |
49 | traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find | |
50 | ourselves in. | |
51 | -- Jordan K. Hubbard", | |
52 | ||
53 | "43rd Law of Computing: | |
54 | Anything that can go wr | |
55 | fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped", | |
56 | ||
57 | "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) | |
58 | The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National | |
59 | Redwood Forest.", | |
60 | ||
61 | "7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure) | |
62 | The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the | |
63 | Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.", | |
64 | ||
65 | "99 blocks of crud on the disk, | |
66 | 99 blocks of crud! | |
67 | You patch a bug, and dump it again: | |
68 | 100 blocks of crud on the disk! | |
69 | ||
70 | 100 blocks of crud on the disk, | |
71 | 100 blocks of crud! | |
72 | You patch a bug, and dump it again: | |
73 | 101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...", | |
74 | ||
75 | "A \"No\" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a | |
76 | \"Yes\" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. | |
77 | -- Mahatma Ghandi", | |
78 | ||
79 | "A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. | |
80 | Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific | |
81 | game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have | |
82 | traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, | |
83 | preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass. | |
84 | -- Donald A. Metz", | |
85 | ||
86 | "A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and | |
87 | placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or | |
88 | rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results | |
89 | from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball | |
90 | and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the | |
91 | ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical | |
92 | phenomena. | |
93 | -- Donald A. Metz", | |
94 | ||
95 | "A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no | |
96 | responsibility at the other.", | |
97 | ||
98 | "A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. | |
99 | -- Carl Sandburg", | |
100 | ||
101 | "A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out | |
102 | of a divorce. | |
103 | -- Don Quinn", | |
104 | ||
105 | "A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining | |
106 | and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. | |
107 | -- Mark Twain", | |
108 | ||
109 | "A billion here, a couple of billion there -- first thing you know it | |
110 | adds up to be real money. | |
111 | -- Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen", | |
112 | ||
113 | "A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.", | |
114 | ||
115 | "A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.", | |
116 | ||
117 | "A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.", | |
118 | ||
119 | "... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you | |
120 | have turned into a pile of dust.", | |
121 | ||
122 | "A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have | |
123 | enlightened him with ours.", | |
124 | ||
125 | "A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well | |
126 | as afterward.", | |
127 | ||
128 | "A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the | |
129 | poor to protect them from each other.", | |
130 | ||
131 | "A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.", | |
132 | ||
133 | "A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not | |
134 | mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty | |
135 | trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators. | |
136 | -- Dave Barry", | |
137 | ||
138 | "A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five.", | |
139 | ||
140 | "A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. | |
141 | Avoid him. He's a Commie.", | |
142 | ||
143 | "A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but | |
144 | won't cross the street to vote in a national election. | |
145 | -- Bill Vaughan", | |
146 | ||
147 | "A city is a large community where people are lonesome together | |
148 | -- Herbert Prochnow", | |
149 | ||
150 | "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody | |
151 | wants to read. | |
152 | -- Mark Twain", | |
153 | ||
154 | "A closed mouth gathers no foot.", | |
155 | ||
156 | "A computer, to print out a fact, | |
157 | Will divide, multiply, and subtract. | |
158 | But this output can be | |
159 | No more than debris, | |
160 | If the input was short of exact. | |
161 | -- Gigo", | |
162 | ||
163 | "A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.", | |
164 | ||
165 | "A CONS is an object which cares. | |
166 | -- Bernie Greenberg.", | |
167 | ||
168 | "A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it | |
169 | is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.", | |
170 | ||
171 | "A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper. | |
172 | -- Dyer", | |
173 | ||
174 | "A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the | |
175 | damned things is ample. | |
176 | -- Rebecca West", | |
177 | ||
178 | "A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. | |
179 | -- Ben Franklin", | |
180 | ||
181 | "A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison | |
182 | And had an affair with a Saracen. | |
183 | She was not oversexed, | |
184 | Or jealous or vexed, | |
185 | She just wanted to make a comparison.", | |
186 | ||
187 | "A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen | |
188 | lantern. | |
189 | -- Edgar A. Shoaff", | |
190 | ||
191 | "A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?", | |
192 | ||
193 | "A day without sunshine is like night.", | |
194 | ||
195 | "A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur | |
196 | coat.", | |
197 | ||
198 | "A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that | |
199 | you will look forward to the trip.", | |
200 | ||
201 | " A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was | |
202 | eating his morning meal. \"I would like to give you this personality | |
203 | test\", said the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\" | |
204 | Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into | |
205 | the toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".", | |
206 | ||
207 | "A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...", | |
208 | ||
209 | " A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing | |
210 | about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their | |
211 | arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon | |
212 | the doctor said, \"The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because | |
213 | Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply | |
214 | incredible surgical feat.\" " | |
215 | } | |
216 | } |